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Flamencos #*!$in easy
02 January 2007 @ 09:55 pm
29 December 2006 @ 11:21 pm
last night i went to an airdrie house party at adams friend adams house.
it was a great party, i like house parties, however i'm pretty sure every girl that was there was actually stunning.
i personally think thats abit strange.
and everyone i spoke to was pure nice as nice can get.
i actually really liked that party.
however we all did get abit steaming, and did the cliche drunken marathon across airdrie
filled with me trying to pull adam into the mud
giving erin the " boys like the chase" chat
and also just not noticing the below zero temprature.
everyone kept drinking as i clonked out,
woke up to this really weird weird noise then this warm sensation on my shoulder.
turned round and my absolute passed out steaming boyfriend was being sick on my shoulder.
mortifying or what? hahaha
it was equally hilarious as it was disgusting.
but its not so funny anymore as he's still vomitting his brains out and well, i think its abit more than a hangover.
who knows but its left me lonely on a friday night.
and i hope he's better before new year.
unfortunately there is a slim to none chance of me having the o.c moment
which i've dreamed about ever since seeing the episode
and its beginning to look like theres a slim to none chance
of me actually going and doing something for new year!
however not bothered in the slightest,
all i really want is for 2007 to be slightly better than this year.
but then again, 2006 wasn't all bad.
i think the good stuff definately equalled it out.
obv there will be a lovely reminissing update coming very soon.
x
it was a great party, i like house parties, however i'm pretty sure every girl that was there was actually stunning.
i personally think thats abit strange.
and everyone i spoke to was pure nice as nice can get.
i actually really liked that party.
however we all did get abit steaming, and did the cliche drunken marathon across airdrie
filled with me trying to pull adam into the mud
giving erin the " boys like the chase" chat
and also just not noticing the below zero temprature.
everyone kept drinking as i clonked out,
woke up to this really weird weird noise then this warm sensation on my shoulder.
turned round and my absolute passed out steaming boyfriend was being sick on my shoulder.
mortifying or what? hahaha
it was equally hilarious as it was disgusting.
but its not so funny anymore as he's still vomitting his brains out and well, i think its abit more than a hangover.
who knows but its left me lonely on a friday night.
and i hope he's better before new year.
unfortunately there is a slim to none chance of me having the o.c moment
which i've dreamed about ever since seeing the episode
and its beginning to look like theres a slim to none chance
of me actually going and doing something for new year!
however not bothered in the slightest,
all i really want is for 2007 to be slightly better than this year.
but then again, 2006 wasn't all bad.
i think the good stuff definately equalled it out.
obv there will be a lovely reminissing update coming very soon.
x
25 December 2006 @ 09:18 pm
my parents and friends and sisters spolied me out my FACE.FACE.FACE
i love christmas and i miss the fuck out of adam.
He's still in england.
i spent sooo much money this year on gifts and i didn't even buy myself a christmas outfit!
i feel like jesus christ or someone equally as generous haha.
laura got me this gorgeous gorgeous outfit aaaaa fucking love it.
i got paolo nutini tickets, one for me one for her.
and some other random stuff i hope she likes :)
i got this absolutely stunning calvin klein ring from father, aaa was in total shock its beautiful,
and well just got so spoiled, bloody overwhelmed.
anyways, more importantly than presents the dinners were amazing,
dads was good,
mums was expectededly better, sorry dad. haha.
nights out, christmas eve was brilliant i love my sisters so so bad there actually faboulous.
and sneakies was good. adam was nearly late, wouldn't get out my bed haha, spent half an hour nipping him to wake up.
aaaaa.
i'm so happy.
havn't saw marky yet or alot others.
tomorrow night is girls night. have no idea where we're heading, but i know what i'm wearing. all that counts.
anyways, i'm having the time of my life right here, tired as feck.
and i really really really am feeling lonesome without my other half.
england is a terrible place for taking him away. not long though.
i hate being this smitten with him haha.
smitten kitten.
christmas cheer has definately arrived.
want to see my sisters?
ma famillia mon favourite part of christmas!
haha. can you tell i know nthing of french?
vivtoria
jennifer
eh! chloe!
haha totally steaming
i love christmas and i miss the fuck out of adam.
He's still in england.
i spent sooo much money this year on gifts and i didn't even buy myself a christmas outfit!
i feel like jesus christ or someone equally as generous haha.
laura got me this gorgeous gorgeous outfit aaaaa fucking love it.
i got paolo nutini tickets, one for me one for her.
and some other random stuff i hope she likes :)
i got this absolutely stunning calvin klein ring from father, aaa was in total shock its beautiful,
and well just got so spoiled, bloody overwhelmed.
anyways, more importantly than presents the dinners were amazing,
dads was good,
mums was expectededly better, sorry dad. haha.
nights out, christmas eve was brilliant i love my sisters so so bad there actually faboulous.
and sneakies was good. adam was nearly late, wouldn't get out my bed haha, spent half an hour nipping him to wake up.
aaaaa.
i'm so happy.
havn't saw marky yet or alot others.
tomorrow night is girls night. have no idea where we're heading, but i know what i'm wearing. all that counts.
anyways, i'm having the time of my life right here, tired as feck.
and i really really really am feeling lonesome without my other half.
england is a terrible place for taking him away. not long though.
i hate being this smitten with him haha.
smitten kitten.
christmas cheer has definately arrived.
want to see my sisters?
ma famillia mon favourite part of christmas!
haha. can you tell i know nthing of french?
vivtoria
jennifer
eh! chloe!
haha totally steaming
23 December 2006 @ 06:00 pm
sometimes i wish there was something i could do or say,
just to let him know how much the little things mean.
it takes one little thing to hurt us into a thousand peices
and it can take one little thing to build us back up again.
i wish that we were worth making the effort for.
i wish that we were as far up on your priority list as we are on your top 8.
and if i'm being honest, i think he knows what he's doing.
i think he likes blocking us out. he always has lets face it.
3 and a half years and nothing has changed.
I just wish for once when he lets us down he'd stop and feel just that ounce of guilt.
Cause i know he doesn't.
He doesn't care enough to feel guilt.
And i only wish there was something i could do, that could make him care.
its christmas time.
unlike some others. the most important things to me this christmas are friends and family.
and even if there was shit music expensive alchahol and really bad airdrie punters.
I could still have the time of my life with the people that matter the most to me.
i don't need anything else in this world but them.
and i know thats something i will always stand by.
x
just to let him know how much the little things mean.
it takes one little thing to hurt us into a thousand peices
and it can take one little thing to build us back up again.
i wish that we were worth making the effort for.
i wish that we were as far up on your priority list as we are on your top 8.
and if i'm being honest, i think he knows what he's doing.
i think he likes blocking us out. he always has lets face it.
3 and a half years and nothing has changed.
I just wish for once when he lets us down he'd stop and feel just that ounce of guilt.
Cause i know he doesn't.
He doesn't care enough to feel guilt.
And i only wish there was something i could do, that could make him care.
its christmas time.
unlike some others. the most important things to me this christmas are friends and family.
and even if there was shit music expensive alchahol and really bad airdrie punters.
I could still have the time of my life with the people that matter the most to me.
i don't need anything else in this world but them.
and i know thats something i will always stand by.
x
18 December 2006 @ 06:43 pm
i pure don't feel well and my head hurts.
part from that i'm having a good time.
so things were up and down like mad with me and adam.
but i think it might have all finally calmed down.
and it really is amazing. everything feels abit different.
abit honest and just i dunno. feels good.
the only big bad thing going on is my total lack of motivation for my folio.
obv i don't want to give up but i just can't be arsed doing anything just now with it.
my projects are getting boring and i never have enough money to get all my photo's printed off.
i actually just plain jane never have money,
christmas is killing me off big time.
i can't wait till its kinda over.
think i;ve changed my mind on what course i'm applying for. who knows. still not really decided.
not been to college for a week, felt i needed a wee break.
the christmas one was too far away.
so yeah, need to get my 3 sketchbooks finished or at least further than half way before i go back.
urgh my head really does hurt.
oh and my house is totally haunted.
i can't wait for friday, we've all not been out together in ages ages ages, like everyone!
so i'm making it my mission to get as many people i like to go to sneakies on friday.
so if i havn't already invited you, well i'm doing so now, go go go.
other stuff thats been going on, laura was over last night, we watched laguna beach this morning oh yeah.
emm, mum gave me some of my christmas presents, unfortunately i couldn't wear them to the party i was supposed to go to or my staff night out.
because victoria came over this weekend and took all my money :(
urgh.
so friday i can't wait for.
adam goes away on saturday though.
its only 5 days.
but yeah still going to miss him like nothing else.
x
part from that i'm having a good time.
so things were up and down like mad with me and adam.
but i think it might have all finally calmed down.
and it really is amazing. everything feels abit different.
abit honest and just i dunno. feels good.
the only big bad thing going on is my total lack of motivation for my folio.
obv i don't want to give up but i just can't be arsed doing anything just now with it.
my projects are getting boring and i never have enough money to get all my photo's printed off.
i actually just plain jane never have money,
christmas is killing me off big time.
i can't wait till its kinda over.
think i;ve changed my mind on what course i'm applying for. who knows. still not really decided.
not been to college for a week, felt i needed a wee break.
the christmas one was too far away.
so yeah, need to get my 3 sketchbooks finished or at least further than half way before i go back.
urgh my head really does hurt.
oh and my house is totally haunted.
i can't wait for friday, we've all not been out together in ages ages ages, like everyone!
so i'm making it my mission to get as many people i like to go to sneakies on friday.
so if i havn't already invited you, well i'm doing so now, go go go.
other stuff thats been going on, laura was over last night, we watched laguna beach this morning oh yeah.
emm, mum gave me some of my christmas presents, unfortunately i couldn't wear them to the party i was supposed to go to or my staff night out.
because victoria came over this weekend and took all my money :(
urgh.
so friday i can't wait for.
adam goes away on saturday though.
its only 5 days.
but yeah still going to miss him like nothing else.
x
15 December 2006 @ 08:05 pm
12 December 2006 @ 02:02 pm
so last night i got fucked and spewed in some alley-way
only just missing maxwells shoes.
there was alot of scottish acoustic music and andrea marini recognised me.
i wet myself.
gav's friends cheered me up big style.
we talked of how those times you go in a bath and all the hot water is at the front
and the cold up the back and how you splash about like an idiot trying to balance it out.
yeah, it was one of those had to be there moments, there was hand actions.
anyways,
i'm again feeling extremely sorry for myself and i officially hate my life.
well you know how that relationship with adam which was the best thing in my life?
well yeah, it wasn't quite satisfying enough for him and he was trying to fire into some
bitch thats a size 6 and looks like a topshop maniquin.
but look on the brightside, least i got what i wanted eventually.
to have my heart broken.
least i know i'm capable of actually genuinely really liking someone.
shame that he's a complete cheating liar.
wow. you really think you know some people.
as you can tell i've not quite hit the depressed stage yet, still set on the angry , i hate you stage.
and well its not that enjoyable but i'd rather be kicking the fuck out my room than crying my eyeballs out.
why the fuck are we all arseholes?
i'm away to watch young americans.
they've been here for me the past week.
and katherine moenig is fucking sexy!
don't care if that makes me gay.
oh another thing, happy birthday edvard munch!
only just missing maxwells shoes.
there was alot of scottish acoustic music and andrea marini recognised me.
i wet myself.
gav's friends cheered me up big style.
we talked of how those times you go in a bath and all the hot water is at the front
and the cold up the back and how you splash about like an idiot trying to balance it out.
yeah, it was one of those had to be there moments, there was hand actions.
anyways,
i'm again feeling extremely sorry for myself and i officially hate my life.
well you know how that relationship with adam which was the best thing in my life?
well yeah, it wasn't quite satisfying enough for him and he was trying to fire into some
bitch thats a size 6 and looks like a topshop maniquin.
but look on the brightside, least i got what i wanted eventually.
to have my heart broken.
least i know i'm capable of actually genuinely really liking someone.
shame that he's a complete cheating liar.
wow. you really think you know some people.
as you can tell i've not quite hit the depressed stage yet, still set on the angry , i hate you stage.
and well its not that enjoyable but i'd rather be kicking the fuck out my room than crying my eyeballs out.
why the fuck are we all arseholes?
i'm away to watch young americans.
they've been here for me the past week.
and katherine moenig is fucking sexy!
don't care if that makes me gay.
oh another thing, happy birthday edvard munch!
10 December 2006 @ 09:45 pm
life is just so fucking hilarious sometimes.
well i've decided its an arsehole,
this year has been shit.
about a week ago i was saying the opposite, but then again,
who doesn't contradict themselves constantly?
and when did the word HARMLESS become so harmful.
i get the feeling very few people understand what is going on with me right now.
yeah, very very few.
and i get the feeling very very very few people care.
haha aww check me out feeling sorry for myself. theres a shock.
i'm sitting on my bed, with a santa hat on, feeling so far from cheery.
my rooms a mess, because i wanted to get so wasted i'd forget and maybe accidently be so drunk i'd just drop everything i was thinking and then i'd be able to stop lieing to everyone who's ever meant something in my life just now.
but instead we all just argued and i cried and we had sex and she left hating me and i kicked my phone across the station because we all know its not me you used all your credit on and i
got so fucking happy at idlewild because they made me genuinely smile and forget about every
problem that surrounded me.
idlewild are amazing live.
everyones lieing to everyone.
everyones pretending to play there roles to there best abilities.
when everyone knows deep down we're all a bunch of actors.
pretending that we're being honest with each other
pretending that everything is totally fine.
pretending that there is no distance growing.
pretending to just be ok with change.
i'm a coward for trying to use alcahol to lift these truths.
but in the end, we're all still pretending.
and i still want to get fucked.
x
well i've decided its an arsehole,
this year has been shit.
about a week ago i was saying the opposite, but then again,
who doesn't contradict themselves constantly?
and when did the word HARMLESS become so harmful.
i get the feeling very few people understand what is going on with me right now.
yeah, very very few.
and i get the feeling very very very few people care.
haha aww check me out feeling sorry for myself. theres a shock.
i'm sitting on my bed, with a santa hat on, feeling so far from cheery.
my rooms a mess, because i wanted to get so wasted i'd forget and maybe accidently be so drunk i'd just drop everything i was thinking and then i'd be able to stop lieing to everyone who's ever meant something in my life just now.
but instead we all just argued and i cried and we had sex and she left hating me and i kicked my phone across the station because we all know its not me you used all your credit on and i
got so fucking happy at idlewild because they made me genuinely smile and forget about every
problem that surrounded me.
idlewild are amazing live.
everyones lieing to everyone.
everyones pretending to play there roles to there best abilities.
when everyone knows deep down we're all a bunch of actors.
pretending that we're being honest with each other
pretending that everything is totally fine.
pretending that there is no distance growing.
pretending to just be ok with change.
i'm a coward for trying to use alcahol to lift these truths.
but in the end, we're all still pretending.
and i still want to get fucked.
x
04 December 2006 @ 06:47 pm
blah. i feel pure sick.
weekend was good, friday work was good, sat abc was , well it was the abc.
oh went to see the dykeenies, they were fab, and the fridays were great too,
sunday went to visit dad who looked fine so that's settled my stomach a little.
and sunday night me ramage and chloe had a laugh in edinburgh for the prophets gig.
so work, is good
college, is good
health, right now i feel sick
family, chloe's moved out
love life, pretty amazing
and friends well it was good seeing domi and erin on saturday was such a fun night,
even if domi did have to leave pretty early.
so yeah all good. all good.
emm college work has me a little fixated just now, feeling like i'm on countdown and like the wee tune is about to break in any minute now. so yeah, the stress sometimes gets to me, but yeah.
anyways not really much else to say.
feeling a little mundane just now, however i'm really not complaining.
weekend was good, friday work was good, sat abc was , well it was the abc.
oh went to see the dykeenies, they were fab, and the fridays were great too,
sunday went to visit dad who looked fine so that's settled my stomach a little.
and sunday night me ramage and chloe had a laugh in edinburgh for the prophets gig.
so work, is good
college, is good
health, right now i feel sick
family, chloe's moved out
love life, pretty amazing
and friends well it was good seeing domi and erin on saturday was such a fun night,
even if domi did have to leave pretty early.
so yeah all good. all good.
emm college work has me a little fixated just now, feeling like i'm on countdown and like the wee tune is about to break in any minute now. so yeah, the stress sometimes gets to me, but yeah.
anyways not really much else to say.
feeling a little mundane just now, however i'm really not complaining.
30 November 2006 @ 06:18 pm
been in bed all day.
downloading placebo.
chloe is moving out as i'm typing.
and this house is feeling abit down.
adam is coming round tonight, or we're supposed to be going to the cinema.
he's the best thing thats going on in my life right now.
and i'm sniffing at his watch cause it smells like him.
took more photographs today and made one sculpture.
i probably missed a really important day at college but my head was poundind and i couldn't move.
oh well.
nothing really else going on. no cash.
and this weekend fri college + work
saturday doing college work + going to dykeenies gig then out afterwards.
sunday at dads then going to lostprophets.
then its the start of the week again.
can't believe its dec tomorrow. how quick has this year been?
its totally mental.
downloading placebo.
chloe is moving out as i'm typing.
and this house is feeling abit down.
adam is coming round tonight, or we're supposed to be going to the cinema.
he's the best thing thats going on in my life right now.
and i'm sniffing at his watch cause it smells like him.
took more photographs today and made one sculpture.
i probably missed a really important day at college but my head was poundind and i couldn't move.
oh well.
nothing really else going on. no cash.
and this weekend fri college + work
saturday doing college work + going to dykeenies gig then out afterwards.
sunday at dads then going to lostprophets.
then its the start of the week again.
can't believe its dec tomorrow. how quick has this year been?
its totally mental.
26 November 2006 @ 04:55 pm
Aries March 21 - April 20
The planet Jupiter moved signs this week. He stays in a sign for a whole year and this time promises a bumper year of good luck for little old you. Your life will grow in all kinds of directions in 2007. Expect to travel, to learn, to go on courses – maybe even to get religion. It’s all about expanding your mind, baby. Drug-free.
how optimistic?!
so i love horoscopes and i'm so ashamed of it.
i really do feel so funny just now. but i'm feeling quite good today though.
yesterday was weird. so many thoughts going through my head just now.
thinking maybe too much? well i really don't think so.
my world is changing with every second that goes by.
people are becoming more distant as our paths cross less and less.
i'm dreading the day when we wake up and realise it's lost completely.
lonliness is becoming familiar and friendship is becoming a word that's losing meaning.
sometimes i feel like i'm in a complete different place to most people.
i also can feel my mouth running away with itself.
withholding truth. is it really the nice way of saying we're lying?
why don't i want to be truthful. i don't even know myself.
some things i can't even physically say out loud anymore,
only because its been kept inside so long.
its funny how that happens.
so many things just now are just, funny.
we take turns in talking but neither one is listening.
how mechanical my life is.
i feel like nearly everyone bar very few, are playing a role or part they've been given
and if they don't play it properly then things will change.
and we all know how accepting everyone is to change.
my rooms a mess,
memories pinned to the wall. art materials scattered everywhere.
unmade bed from 6 days ago when i last lay in it begging for answers
as to why you were still lying beside me.
i don't know what to do.
it feels like i have two choices.
to rewind.
or to just keep playing.
both just seem pretty hard just now.
especially now that the trust has gone.
urgh, massive meaningless crap entry as per usual.
x
23 November 2006 @ 11:25 am
made up my mind on everything.
last night was fun and we laughed and we drank and it was good.
however i couldn't help feeling like i wasn't fully there.
there wasn't much of a connection there.
i'm not even sure how hard i tried to make one, or if i subconsiously wouldn't let there be one.
but i'm done with it all just now.
i'm not in love with adam. don't think i could ever be.
but it still doesn't take away the fact we had a relationship,
that was good and fun and well meaningful despite the fact its over.
and ok i might not want to have that relationship anymore,
but that doesn't mean i want a new one either.
so yeah. everything is over.
i don't want anything with anyone just now.
just need to get through the end of this year alone.
i've never wanted anything so much than to just be good being alone.
went round to see chloes place the other day, its literally 10 mins walk from dads.
not bad.
i have my interview today, then me and laura are going christmas shopping!!
wooo i can't wait. love me and laura days.
never forget that day, "she's the same age as ben!!!"
best day of my life. well not the best but
its was a pretty amazing train journey.
for both reasons.
and as hard as life tries to make it less special.
it is to me.
x
last night was fun and we laughed and we drank and it was good.
however i couldn't help feeling like i wasn't fully there.
there wasn't much of a connection there.
i'm not even sure how hard i tried to make one, or if i subconsiously wouldn't let there be one.
but i'm done with it all just now.
i'm not in love with adam. don't think i could ever be.
but it still doesn't take away the fact we had a relationship,
that was good and fun and well meaningful despite the fact its over.
and ok i might not want to have that relationship anymore,
but that doesn't mean i want a new one either.
so yeah. everything is over.
i don't want anything with anyone just now.
just need to get through the end of this year alone.
i've never wanted anything so much than to just be good being alone.
went round to see chloes place the other day, its literally 10 mins walk from dads.
not bad.
i have my interview today, then me and laura are going christmas shopping!!
wooo i can't wait. love me and laura days.
never forget that day, "she's the same age as ben!!!"
best day of my life. well not the best but
its was a pretty amazing train journey.
for both reasons.
and as hard as life tries to make it less special.
it is to me.
x
12 November 2006 @ 08:06 pm
they dance together, intimate, but keeping a constant distance.
how true this statement feels..
so chloe moves out soon. for real.
i think i was too excited to really sit down and think about what it all means.
its totally weird. i mean i know we fight quite often.
but she really is my best friend. and we actually have quite a laugh sometimes.
i mean mind that time i threw a pint at martin DL?
haha. funny looking back. but yeah. i'll miss her.alot.
no more days spent on the couch watching episodes of old x-men 90's edition haha.
no more drunken funny nights down the "local".
weird, how they all leave... jen was first...9 years ago.., now i can't imagine living with her at all.
vic..4 years? i used to think we were the same people just different ages. haha.
and now chloe. my partner in crime for the past 18 years.
blah. this is weird.
really weird.
i feel like its the end of an era. pure is though.
not much people know it, but she really is one in a million.
however if i have to do another one of her dishes i'm going to smash it over her head.
how true this statement feels..
so chloe moves out soon. for real.
i think i was too excited to really sit down and think about what it all means.
its totally weird. i mean i know we fight quite often.
but she really is my best friend. and we actually have quite a laugh sometimes.
i mean mind that time i threw a pint at martin DL?
haha. funny looking back. but yeah. i'll miss her.alot.
no more days spent on the couch watching episodes of old x-men 90's edition haha.
no more drunken funny nights down the "local".
weird, how they all leave... jen was first...9 years ago.., now i can't imagine living with her at all.
vic..4 years? i used to think we were the same people just different ages. haha.
and now chloe. my partner in crime for the past 18 years.
blah. this is weird.
really weird.
i feel like its the end of an era. pure is though.
not much people know it, but she really is one in a million.
however if i have to do another one of her dishes i'm going to smash it over her head.
11 November 2006 @ 03:05 pm
people are right when they say i love all the boys.
i do.
was watching some old inme there, how fucking sexy is that band? or was that band.
joe morgan left. i was so gutted out my face. i mean...urgh. and dave has shaved his head but he's still actually hot as feck.
aww the used are on. i love mornings at dads with music channels haha.
so yeah last night at work was funny haha. irish ryan was my team mate for the night.
and it was all brilliant people on. Banter consisted of hmm and aaa's and what do i do????
he left and i didn't go after. which i planned on doing.
so not sure what this weeks going to be like.
anyways met adam after college he treated me to kfc and also insulted me in the mean time.
was good though. movies tonight.
so yeah. got no time or money just now so bare with me.
however i know not everyone will.
x
07 November 2006 @ 12:37 am
i missed him more than i'd ever like to admit.
sitting with a stranger who you used to know inside out.
how can it make you this happy and this sad at the same time.
its hard to believe other people know how i feel.
its hard to believe i'm not the only person in the planet with this massive gap in my heart.
begging for boys to fill it.
then begging them not to.
i'm sick of feeling this lost.
i wish i could be sure on something, anything.
cancelled wednesday.
i just want to abandon these feelings.
its easy to connect with complete disconnection.
but when you have to proper connect on a whole other level.
i'm just not ready.
i'm aware that will make no sense to anyone except me.
but right now isnt the time. i'm slowly falling in love with my sketchbooks.
why do i need anyone else?
anyways. if i don't go to sleep now i'll think too much about comments messages and other
poisonous nothings.
x
04 November 2006 @ 07:21 pm
i feel hollow inside.
i can almost here the fireworks echo through my body.
today was jamie and boyle's birthday. met them for lunch, went shopping and then me and laura are going out tonight.
i think lesley broonpants is coming too.
i'm still raging at this fucking malicious internet attack on domi.
Not heard an intellectual repsonse from jade to back up her, what seems like, a jealous little outburst yet.
maybe i'm wrong, maybe theres a reasonabley good explaination for all of it.
hmm. in a small way i hope i'm wrong. but i seriously doubt it.
so yeah, seems like this year will end sort of good, mending bridges with old "enemies" you could say.
and feeling a whole lot more mature, maybe thats because theres more people acting like retards though.
who knows but i like it. and i'm nervous about wednesday.
and yeah.
chloe is moving out this month.
i'm not leaving mum though. i couldn't.
not when things are like this for her.
i love loads of things on this planet.
but nothing comes close to as precious as she is to me.
nothing.
but these kids are still pretty damn special.
i can almost here the fireworks echo through my body.
today was jamie and boyle's birthday. met them for lunch, went shopping and then me and laura are going out tonight.
i think lesley broonpants is coming too.
i'm still raging at this fucking malicious internet attack on domi.
Not heard an intellectual repsonse from jade to back up her, what seems like, a jealous little outburst yet.
maybe i'm wrong, maybe theres a reasonabley good explaination for all of it.
hmm. in a small way i hope i'm wrong. but i seriously doubt it.
so yeah, seems like this year will end sort of good, mending bridges with old "enemies" you could say.
and feeling a whole lot more mature, maybe thats because theres more people acting like retards though.
who knows but i like it. and i'm nervous about wednesday.
and yeah.
chloe is moving out this month.
i'm not leaving mum though. i couldn't.
not when things are like this for her.
i love loads of things on this planet.
but nothing comes close to as precious as she is to me.
nothing.
but these kids are still pretty damn special.
29 October 2006 @ 08:53 pm
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
26 October 2006 @ 02:49 pm
nothing too major has happened in the last what? 4 days.
been seeing adam alot which has been amazing.
was working last night, was really fun actually.
went in soooo quick. love it.
went to see the guillemots the other night, was brilliant
however the night life of glasgow afterwards was SERIOUSLY dissapointing.
should have just went to rev's thinking about it.
going to sneakies tomorrow and hopefully dressing up,
going to edin aswell for the art collage open day thing.
meeting jennifer, she's treating me to lunch YASS.
and the teeth aren't even that bad looking too.
so yeah. first time in ages that things are looking pretty good.
still got loads of college work to catch up on.
so gonna organise that tonight.
along with getting adam down here to eat indian and watch a movie.
good good good.
oh and i got carried away with the scissors. keep chopping a little bit more off everyday.
should probably stop. will eventuallly be bald.
i think a pigeon just flew into my roof.
contrast is my best friend.
x
22 October 2006 @ 08:47 pm
so the parents have agreed to me buying a flat,
which should be the biggest thing in the planet but thanks to them,
isn't as much as a responsability as its supposed to be.
i'm a lucky girl.
p.s anyone looking to move out?
so like things got way way way too much for me the last month,
work and college pretty much take up my life.
its a fucking nq but i swear its more work than i've done in the past year.
and work, well 3 nights a week, becomes so much more than just 3 nights.
trains trains trains PISS ME OFF more than everything in this world.
didn't realise this was going to turn into a rant again but what the hell.
stress is killing me i've had the cold for 2 weeks now, doing my nut in.
dad and the girls have still fell out but i'm working my magic.
i'm sitting on live journal when i've got 4 more masterpieces to complete for my eh
stupid fucking presentation tomorrow infront of a bunch of pretentious ARSE HOLES.
i cross my fingers every second in that shit shit shit class praying to god i'll get in and hoping every seconds worth it.
yeah so apart from hating college trains and lack of time i have for everything.
i also hate... RUMOURS from like 3 years ago.. doesnt gossip grow old?
obv not with these immature wankers. apoligies for my profanity in this entry.
blah. airdrie scumbags.
but yeah there is one thing thats making everything seem so much better
and he's probably the best person to wake up to in the mornings, well for me anyway.
he wants to come on wednesday, which is btw when my teeth get fucked away.
urgh, i'm going to look like a pirate for a week.
oh and speaking of dressing up, i know what i'm wearing for halloween.
yeah so what else this week? college work and halloween weekend!
oh sneakies on friday, i cannot wait, well dressing up.. i hope.
this is such a long entry.
yeah other stuff going on, not seen erin or rachel or domi in ages,
i hope though like thursday or something we can all meet for coffeeeee
who knows.
working sat, off sun.
hope i get to dress up for work on sat.
urgh, anyways
going to stop moaning and go.
x
which should be the biggest thing in the planet but thanks to them,
isn't as much as a responsability as its supposed to be.
i'm a lucky girl.
p.s anyone looking to move out?
so like things got way way way too much for me the last month,
work and college pretty much take up my life.
its a fucking nq but i swear its more work than i've done in the past year.
and work, well 3 nights a week, becomes so much more than just 3 nights.
trains trains trains PISS ME OFF more than everything in this world.
didn't realise this was going to turn into a rant again but what the hell.
stress is killing me i've had the cold for 2 weeks now, doing my nut in.
dad and the girls have still fell out but i'm working my magic.
i'm sitting on live journal when i've got 4 more masterpieces to complete for my eh
stupid fucking presentation tomorrow infront of a bunch of pretentious ARSE HOLES.
i cross my fingers every second in that shit shit shit class praying to god i'll get in and hoping every seconds worth it.
yeah so apart from hating college trains and lack of time i have for everything.
i also hate... RUMOURS from like 3 years ago.. doesnt gossip grow old?
obv not with these immature wankers. apoligies for my profanity in this entry.
blah. airdrie scumbags.
but yeah there is one thing thats making everything seem so much better
and he's probably the best person to wake up to in the mornings, well for me anyway.
he wants to come on wednesday, which is btw when my teeth get fucked away.
urgh, i'm going to look like a pirate for a week.
oh and speaking of dressing up, i know what i'm wearing for halloween.
yeah so what else this week? college work and halloween weekend!
oh sneakies on friday, i cannot wait, well dressing up.. i hope.
this is such a long entry.
yeah other stuff going on, not seen erin or rachel or domi in ages,
i hope though like thursday or something we can all meet for coffeeeee
who knows.
working sat, off sun.
hope i get to dress up for work on sat.
urgh, anyways
going to stop moaning and go.
x